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here you go:
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Valentine's Day Jokes
Will and Guy's Collection of Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Stories
Valentine's Day Jokes - February 14thValentine's day jokes
* My One and Only
* Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
* More Valentine's Day Jokes
* Love is Blind?
* Don't make a fuss about Valentine's Day
* Also Cynical Valentines
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A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'Valentine's day jokes
My One And Only
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
â¥
Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?
A: A divorce lawyer.
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? Valentine Joke
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
here you go:
Valentine's Day Jokes
Will and Guy's Collection of Valentine's Day Jokes and Funny Stories
Valentine's Day Jokes - February 14thValentine's day jokes
* My One and Only
* Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
* More Valentine's Day Jokes
* Love is Blind?
* Don't make a fuss about Valentine's Day
* Also Cynical Valentines
â
A Thoughtful Valentine's Day Gift
Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife anything for Valentine's Day.
'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist, 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'
'That was very kind of you,' Jim added, 'I hope she appreciated the thought.'
Tony smiled as he replied, 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'Valentine's day jokes
My One And Only
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'
The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'
â¥
Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ?
A: A divorce lawyer.
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?
A: No, but they had an apple.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? Valentine Joke
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake?
A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey.
Knock, Knock,
Who's there?
Olive
Olive who?
Olive you!
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
A: A stamp.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef?
A: You get buttered up.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called?
A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?
A: Antelope.
how am i suppose to make money?!?
smalex!
i really want to give back to my mom for all she does for me, she cleans, cooks, does everything for me and might even let me go to london for school next year!
so her birthday is in october, and i know what i want to get her, an irobot vacuum, because itd help her out so she doesnt need to vacuum all the time. the problem is its around $300!
i can babysit, i used to babysit my neighbors but now i have no one to babysit! so now i have no way of making money! im 15, just got my permit so obviously i cant get an actual job yet seeing as how i cant even drive alone. so how other ways could i possibly make money! i dont want to earn money from my parents, its like theyd be buying their own gift.
i responded to an ad on craigslist for a babysitter which is perfect because its $10 dollars an hour and they live close for last minute calls, but what if i dont get it?
i have no way of earning money!
Answer
If you live near a busy area, and own a cooler, you can buy a 24-pack of water bottles for about $5 and sell them for $1 each.
Oh and I would just avoid the expensive gift and spend a lot of time making her a card, show her that you put thought and time into the gift, not necessarily money.
If you live near a busy area, and own a cooler, you can buy a 24-pack of water bottles for about $5 and sell them for $1 each.
Oh and I would just avoid the expensive gift and spend a lot of time making her a card, show her that you put thought and time into the gift, not necessarily money.
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